You’re grumpy about everything. You’re bitter and you stay away optimists. They’re just so positive about everything, how is that even possible? And amiable people, they’re so dreadfully nice. They put in so much effort to be compassionate and inclusive and empathic. It’s the opposite of you. It’s the opposite of us.
We don’t like anything. We don’t like people and we aren’t very keen on spending time with them. We’d very much rather be on our own, being amused by our own grumblings and inner monologues. We’re not very patient and not very kind.
I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know how you are unapologetically grouchy despite being surrounded by the best of people. I don’t know you can comfortably be yourself. I wish I could be congruent and apathetic like that. Sometimes people are so kind, I feel obliged to return the favour. And yet I can hear the running commentary about the hypocrisy of it all in my head.
And when they ask me questions, I try so hard to bite back a rude and sarcastic remark. It makes social interactions rather tricky, really. When you try to be socially acceptable and withhold your honest thoughts. Honesty is the best policy they say, that’s because they haven’t met me.
Be a little more tactful with your words, stop acting like a smartass, respect others. To be incongruent with myself gives me anxiety at times. I find myself always being caught like a deer in headlights. Forever trying to make sure my thoughts get filtered down to a point when I’d be acceptably polite.
So hey, Oscar, how do you do it?
How do you stay indifferent when everyone around you are excessively kind?
How do you unabashedly engage in social interactions when you have to and dissociate just as quickly?
How do you be yourself and be accepted like that?
Hey Oscar,
Do you think….
LetterWho 